Sweet!

"Sweet" is the word that best describes how I feel right now. And, I'm not referring to the way its used among the youth (and I must admit, myself often!). I mean to use it more in the way it is used in the famous Doxology that sings: There's a sweet, sweet spirit in this place, and I know that it's the Spirit of the Lord...Sweet holy Spirit, Sweet heavenly Dove, stay right here with us, filling us with your love...

I say that, because the Lord has saw it fit to answer our prayer towards Celia! Last Sunday night, much of the church at Esperanza came to pray for her health to return, so that we would not have to return to the States to get a check-up. For over two weeks, Celia had either slept all day, or had gotten up to do a few things, only to be wiped out by the effort. A growing concern was developing. I recognized this to be Spiritual warfare quickly. I imagined that the hand of the evil one was upon Celia, and I concluded if it were so, it was because our Sovereign God permitted it. I thought that Satan meant to do us harm, and derail our ministry quickly, yet I believed God meant to work this for good (Ro. 8:28) as I mentioned in the last post, "Bang!"

However, in saying all that, the very real, very urgent need for God to "show up" presented itself, and all I (and everyone praying here and back home) could do was wait on the Lord in faith. I want to take you through what transpired in my mind in this process. At the group prayer for Celia, my main concern was for everyone to recognize this was Spiritual, and that we were pleading for God to do a big thing in our midst. Would prayer to God, really change Celia's state? Would she suddenly heal before Saturday (read the last post, "Bang!" to see why I mention Saturday) after she lay down for the count for two weeks straight? I wanted everyone there praying for us to know that if she improved, then they just saw the hand of God at work in their own life too.

On Monday (the next day), I was a bit nervous, and that might shamefully be an understatement. Celia had not woken up "healed," and doubts surfaced as to if God would respond the way I hoped, and thought He should to glorify Himself. My faith is not as strong as I'd like it to be-that was revealed to me. So that whole day, I prayed but continued to think of the "what if's." What if we had to go back to the States-would many back home question our call...would I...for literally the first time? What if the church in Esperanza (the one who came to pray) witnessed no fruit of their prayers? Would they think this whole God-thing was a "hoopla." What if God wouldn't get the glory He could have if had done this thing we asked? Would I ever even understand God then? Worse yet, could I ever ask anything in faith again? As I mentioned...the spiritual battle of faith was on.

However, that night an amazing thing happened. God comforted me! That is always a great thing. Tony and I went up on his rooftop to pray under the stars, and as we were talking before our prayer, I thought of something. It was that God doesn't need me to glorify Him. He can do that at anytime, and in anyway, even if  He didn't answer our prayer like we wanted. He's been doing it before my birth, and will continue after I'm gone. Immediately, I was relieved. I confessed my sin of presumption before my Father-that He needed to do this to glorify Himself, yet thanked Him for my desire to see Him glorified. Tuesday was filled with a lot less stress...but with a lot less prayer.

I hope I can convey the importance of all this that was worked out in my mind. Sometime, Tuesday evening, I talked to my dad. He was a bit alarmed by my sudden "aloofness" to the situation (though I think we'd both agree that wouldn't be the best word) as I explained to Him how God had spoken to me on the rooftop. The next day he called me again, and urged me to continue taking this before the Lord, as it was a mighty undertaking, and many back home were praying. Once again, I was convicted that I had swung to the opposite end of the pendulum. My painstaking prayers, my urgent pleas, my strong desire did please the Lord, because He wants to give good gifts to His children (Mat. 7:11), and He wants us to desire a thing according to His will and importunately ask for it (Luk. 18:1), putting all our hope in Him. So again, I fell to my knees, striving to honor my Father, Who wants to give me good gifts, and I pleaded to Him on Celia's behalf, asking Him to make her well before Saturday. However, I also knew He WOULD receive glory however, and thus my worries were relieved.

Well, today is Sunday. Yesterday was that Saturday I keep mentioning. Celia was in church today...strong...healthy...graced by God. The previous Wednesday, the day my dad called the second time, Celia finally said to me, "Jared, I think I feel better." 17 days after her incident, and two days after our corporate prayer, I heard the words I was longing for!!! Like I said, "sweet" is how I feel. God has done such a work in my heart and mind through all this. My faith has increased. I am finding myself praying for more things as a result. God really does hear us. God really cares. Oh, we know it because we know we're supposed to know it, but do we really know it? I think Celia and I do now for sure, or at least are learning it more deeply.

Couple this whole "ordeal" with the "Bang!!!" that you read about in our last post, and it is clear to see that we are in spiritual warfare, and that we have to rely on God for everything. Never have we had to rely on God back in the States, as we do now. Back home, we just have a solution for everything-so much "stuff" that fixes other "stuff" that goes wrong, whether it be health issues, or a leaking faucet. For example, back home I would have just taken Celia to the clinic. Here, I had to take her to the Master Physician. And when you are forced to rely on God as we are, Satan starts to rear his ugly head and attack because he knows it is a scary thing (to him) for a Christian to start walking in faith with their God. And with Satan, come trials and tribulations. I think we're seeing the horizon of James 1:2-4... where we praise God in our trials, knowing that the trying of our faith will work maturity and Christ-likeness.

And I hope that everyone involved in this mission with us gets there too (if you are not). I hope some of our experienced shared here encourage you who are reading this in America..."the hardest place to be a Christian" as says John Piper (Pastor, author)...to look to Christ first, and trust in Him alone-even before you look to other means that may be available to "fix" your issue. May God bless us in this endeavor, as it brings Him glory.